Jordan Peterson – How To Fight Social Anxiety

Jordan Peterson – How To Fight Social Anxiety


Let’s say you’re socially anxious. Okay so, what happens when you’re socially anxious? You go to a party, your heart’s beating Why? The party is a monster. Why? Because it’s judging you. And its judging you, it’s putting you low down the dominance hierarchy. Because that’s what a negative judgement is And that interferes with your sexual success. And that means that you are being partially evaluated by nature itself Right, so you aren’t confronting the dragon of chaos when you go into the social situation. And so what you do You’re like this, you hunch over. And that’s low dominance, I’m no threat He well that’s not gonna get you very far You know, but that’s a logical thing to do, in, in the, in the face of a tyran “I’m no threat” You know, you look at the king and you’re dead. I’m no threat, I’m hunched over. And then what’s happening internally “How and what are people thinking about me, what are people thinking about me.” “Am I looking stupid?” “Am I looking foolish, geez I’m awkward, I hate being here, man I’m sweating too much.” It’s all, internalized. Right, it’s all self-focused. The, the, the eye isn’t worki-. The eye isn’t working! What do you tell people stop, dont stop thinking about yourself, cuz you cant It’s like, dont think of a white elephant White elephant, white elephant, white elephant You can’t tell someone to stop thinking about something because they get caught in a loop What you do with socially anxious people is you say Look at other people Look at them Right. Why? ’cause if you look at them you can tell what they’re thinking And, unless you’re terribly socialized, and some people are, some people have no social skills and so The reason they cant go to party is because they dont know how to introduce themselves. Like they’re just, noone ever taught them how to behave And so they’re really good- candidates for behaviour therapy. ‘Cause you walk them through the process of how you actually- manifest the procedures that are associated with social acceptability. But most people aren’t like that, they have the ability So, if they’re really introverted and higher neurotism(?). They can usually talk quite well to someone one on one. Why? ‘Cause they look at them! but/what if I look at you It’s another thing to do if you’re ever speaking to a group of people Never! speak to the group of people. That doesnt exist! you talk to individuals. And then they reflect for you the entire group! ‘Cause theyre all entrained So you look at one person They broadcast to you what everyone is thinking and, you know how to talk to one person So it’s easy So As soon as you focus on the person, not you Push your attention outwards, use your eyes to push your attention outwards And you start watching, well then all your automatic mechanisms kick in And you stop being awkward. ‘Cause if we’re talking, and I’m looking here- I dont know what you’re gonna do next And I’m gonna put, dysjunctions, they’re like a- Bad chords in the melody of our- Of our conversation. And the reason is I’m not paying attention. So that’s why they eye is at the top of the pyramid. It’s like- The thing that enables you to win the set of all possible dominance hierarchy is the eye! Pay attention Pay attention. That’s the critical issue. That’s why the egyptians worshiped Horus That’s why Horus was the thing that rescued Osiris from the depths It’s the capacity to pay attention What do you pay attention to most? *CLAP* What your right hemisphere signals as anomalous It attracts your attentions. Like, this isn’t going quite right I’m not looking at that. WRONG! That’s what you look at. That’s what you look at. What’s not going right, because that’s- See that’s the terrible monster that might eat you but it’s also the place where you get all of the information. So That’s why it’s useful to have discussions with your enemies Because they will tell you things you do not know And that’s such a great thing because, if you don’t know them hewell you’re not very smart, are you? You know, there may be a time when you go somewhere and that’s the thing you need to know And maybe your enemy will tell you why you are such a fool You know, and a bunch of other things that are not true too but Even one thing that’s accurate, it’s like, yeah thank’s very much man, maybe I’ll do some work on that And, I wont have to carry that forward So, and then thats part of the reason again why the terrible predator- It’s always the terrible predator that has the gold. It’s like, it’s the person that delivers the message that you do not want to hear So it’s rough, it’s rough. But it doesnt matter, life is rough.

Author: Kennedi Daugherty

100 thoughts on “Jordan Peterson – How To Fight Social Anxiety

  1. I like how he differentiates between those who have social ability but are still anxious, and those who don't have social skills and will need behavioural therapy. The two types of social anxiety are very different and have different solutions.

  2. It's amazing that people would try to paint this guy as some far right nut. He seems incredibly kind & really intelligent

  3. Holy shit I've been going about this the wrong way this entire time, this actually helps a lot. Next challenge is to regain my social skills since I have had anxiety for so long I lost most of my social skills

  4. It’s important that you don’t let social anxiety take over your life. I go to party’s every week and push myself extra into social situations. If it’s going to the point it affects your daily life, I’d recommend you to go on therapy. Social Anxiety is beatable, only you’ll have to be prepared to face your worst fears. But that’s okay, you’ll realize those fears are so unreal.

  5. ITS AN ILLUSION, I ASKED FOR ONE LAST TIME TO END ALL OF THESE ILLUSIONS IN MIND , WHY DID I BORN? , I REALISED I WAS BORN TO BE LEGEND , FEARLESS, AND HAPPY so why am i scared to every bit of life , cowardness , anxiety and whatever it is , is just an illusion

  6. There are no real friends ok take that advice from people who you label as friends arent friends because they will never care about you first they come first its very rare to find someone who actually cares. So stay strong have a relationship yeah but don’t trust all the way.

  7. Why tf is this on my recommended, I don't have social anxiety but still felt like I learned something. If you do have social anxiety and need to talk to someone, DM me on Insta: Jwnsteven

  8. Look I'm diagnosed with social anxiety and this is so simplistic and generally only applicable to people with the symptoms of social anxiety and not the chronic illness itself. I'm often very charismatic, for example — one of the popular kids in school. This advice is useless to me and many other anxious people. Peterson is simplifying a complex mental disorder down to mere awkwardness and that helps no one

  9. Remember people, everyone gets anxious, we all have things that cause it. Worst thing you can do is get comfy with avoiding it. Stop making excuses, just try, grow, don’t hold yourself back. I had to learn this slowly but surely

  10. What happens when your mind feels so foggy that you can't pay attention to anyone or anything so the eye ends up becoming almost useless?

  11. This video won`t help u much. If u wanna get rid of anxiety ,do nofap- stop watching porn, start working out- hard, do Cold showers everyday , meditate everyday, twice for 20 minutes ™. Be a fucking Warrior,. Start kickboxing or something. stuffs like that, u gotta fight social anxiety, not think Your way through it, wont help…

  12. This video is so important to me, I was in my final year of highschool. Throughout all of high school I had tried my hardest to fly below the radar, I hung out with my group of friends and didnt interact with anyone else, my reputation was that of someone who was unknown outside of my group of 10 or so friends and a few others. I was terrified of social interaction and I hated it. It was holding me back i felt miserable at the prospect of remaining in this bubble of safety my entire life. What Jordan says here in this video just really brought home to me what I had to do. It's such simple advice but for some reason it really spoke to me. Do what feels uncomfortable and you will improve and grow the rule applies with anything you are trying to learn but the way he explained it in a social setting made so much sense. My legacy at high school was already made up to be the quiet kid but the future held so much more. My mum had told me about a program where you worked in a school in England for a year with 2 other random people. I had always wanted to experience living in England it did interest me but the social part made me feel uncomfortable and just felt too far outside my comfort zone so initially I refused, after this video I ran into the kitchen and told my mum to sign me up. I've now been outside the comfort zone of Sydney my home town for 9 months. I am living in England I feel like a new person I still have a way to go with my social skillls but they along with my confidence have improved dramatically. So thank you Mr Peterson you changed my life with this tiny video. I will come back to Australia a changed man

  13. Why is dominance and looking like a threat the best way to attract women? Seriously. I understand that sex is related to it, but can't a man be kind and awkward, while at the same time be an animal in bed? This is why relationships don't last or never begin. People judge others immediately by the cover of the book instead of turning a few pages. Imagine how many good men women have missed out on because she went with the "dominant" looking guy that ended up just being filled with abusive traits. If someone is non-threatening….that should scream that they want co-existence…not that they're not mean enough.

  14. one time i was talking to my teacher and i had to repeat what i said and i went deaf, all i heard was ringing and i felt as if my eyes were about to pop outta my head. i know i had social anxiety but then i finally 100% knew i had it😂

  15. Thats how i overcome social anxiety. I look at other people and see theyre just like me. Theyre not even looking at me. Theyre just having a normal conversation Not concerning me. Cuz i used to think whenever i enter a room every eyes are watching me and when i here laughter i thought theyre directed at me. Its worse when some girls does look at me cuz i was a very handsome guy but my mind keeps telling me theres something wrong with how i dress or i look funny thats why they stare. Worse thing too is that my dad keep calling me fat from when i was a kid eventhough i wasnt that fat back then. Ive set it in my mind that im an ugly fat boy. Having the one guy a kid trusts the most calling him fat could destroy him. Never ever call your kids fat. Especially to his other siblings in belittling manner. Im 30 depressed and because of the depression and hardwired mentality of being fat, im now actually fat. To top all of that, because my dad said it would just be a waste of money to further my study (given that its not that expansive here compare to other countries and my diploma is not a marketable one) while my other siblings got the chance to get theirs, i am now feeling worthless and jobless. Devoided of any motivation what so ever. If its a waste of money to get my degree why bother doing anything? Thx dad i wished you read this someday. Maybe after im dead.

  16. I am convinced that YouTube algorithm is lost, just like this gentleman here

    Talking About monsters go home ur drunk!

  17. I stare at my professor without blinking or removing my eyes to something else. I guess I'm the opposite… But some say it's kinda creepy

  18. Wish this was out when i was in middle school/high school and I could have been called "shy" less lol I'm not shy but I just have always like to keep to myself unless I have gotten to know you well enough to show how "silly" and funny I can be.

  19. One of the best things I’ve learned is to love your enemy. Bring them close and become friendly with them and it decides their power through understanding them.

  20. This was maybe half-assed social advice you could get from your outgoing friend mixed in with way too much aggressive alpha male bullshit.

  21. I have ADHD and social anxiety but I’m exactly the opposite of what he’s saying. The bigger the social group, the easier it is for me to talk to them. That’s why I never have problem giving a lecture. But smaller groups and/or one on one convos are the worst because I have to pay attention to what they say, look them in the eye, laugh at their jokes, etc. I can’t. 😩

  22. I m interested in this.. can someone please may be summarise what exactly he is asking to do for social anxiety? Is it just not to focus on yourself but others?

  23. What helps with me is remembering to talk to someone as if I’m talking to one of my friends. People are no different from my friends so why should I treat them any different.

  24. I used to be socially anxious..I've done psychedelics multiple times and have realized there's nothing to be nervous or anxious about. it just doesn't matter. life is too short and that's an understatement. do whatever you need to be successful, no matter the cost.

  25. Be like Jordan Peterson… when life gets hard just get addicted to benzos…

    Get yourself together? Hmm… Hypocrit much?

  26. The thing is when I look people in the face it doesnt go away. I feel like they look at me judging me or thinking bad stuff abt me.

  27. That's a really good advice i tried doing this for the last years and it really helps. It takes time though – so don't give up if anxiety keeps coming back. 🖤

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