I Was Afraid to Come Out as Bisexual In The Lesbian Community

I Was Afraid to Come Out as Bisexual In The Lesbian Community


hey guys it’s Lily in here and I am going to be doing a solo video today which I’m a little nervous about I’m gonna be talking about something that’s very personal to me and very close to my heart I’ve been wanting to do it for a while but sort of been putting it off cuz I was a little nervous and didn’t really know how to go about it but pride month is here and what better time to do it and now some of you have been following this channel for a while now and you’re already familiar with me for others it may be your first time seeing me the thing is a lot of people make assumptions about my sexual orientation obviously based on the fact that I had a girlfriend and also I guess the fact that I have short hair present worn a bit of an androgynous way so a lot of people assume that I am a lesbian that identify as fully gay but that’s actually not true the term that I usually use for myself is queer back in the day I said not straight but what I actually mean by that is that I am bisexual there I said it it even kind of feels weird saying it because I don’t use the term a lot because I’ve sort of had a difficult relationship with this term it always has these sort of bad connotations that come up and misconceptions when talking to people about it and identifying as it but I thought you know what I should be taking pride in that term and I should be using it whenever I feel like using it and if there’s misconceptions about it or bad connotations that come with it then I think we should look at those and see what’s behind them and sort of dismantle that so what do I mean when I say that I am bisexual I mean that yes I am attracted to women and I’m also attracted to men but not equally so I would say my split is about 70 to 30 with a strong preference for women but I don’t fully exclude men what do I not mean when I say that I’m biased I don’t mean that I am confused I don’t mean that I haven’t decided for his side yet I’m not greedy I’m not unable to be in a monogamous relationship I’m not afraid to come out as fully lesbian and I’m not doing it for the attention being a bisexual woman doesn’t mean that you like to make out with girls for fun or because guys like that or because they’re just curious in knowing what it’s like no there’s a term for that and that’s bicurious that’s not bisexual a lot of lesbian women think that bisexual women aren’t for real that they’re gonna go with men and the long end because that’s easier for them and they just want to have their fun and so they aren’t committed long-term partners I guess the reason why I really want to do this video is because especially for those who have been following me for a long time like I am in a very committed relationship with a woman right now we are monogamous and there is no such thing as because I have the potential to be attracted to men that this is gonna be dangerous to my relationship no more than it could be to two lesbians being in a relationship that they could eventually fall for another woman right like it doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman it’s not true that bisexuals are greedy and they can never be satisfied and they always need you know like both both men and women and like both sets of genitals to be in their life like that is just nonsense some of that biphobia also has to do with the fact that bi women can partake in straight privilege when they’re with men so that they’re not as queer and don’t belong into the queer community as much as that but guess what LGBT there’s the B and there hello there’s even internalized biphobia that causes and this actually happens more than you would think women and the lesbian community to downplay any attractions they they feel towards men just because they feel like they would be a traitor to the lesbian community and be going against everything they’ve been fighting for but it doesn’t have to be that way you’re just attracted to who you’re attracted to an attraction is such a complex thing there’s a chemistry and personality and just you know go with it and don’t restrict it to the gender of someone and allow yourself to have those feelings and it doesn’t matter what the social norm is just go with what makes you happy and don’t be insecure just because someone has a label that’s different from yours what this means is also that I don’t identify with a lot of the typical lesbian coming-out a narrative that is like oh you know I always thought guys four grow so I knew right away from a young age that I’m gay because I’m into women for me was more like okay like I have a crush on this guy but what are these feelings that I have for this girl and my gay no no no but I like this other guy now you know sort of going back and forth and being really confused until I was finally like why is this confusing I’m just attracted to who I’m attracted to and it’s like people are people and I guess I’m bisexual because I’m open towards both of them another misconception with bisexuality is that people think that once you’re in a monogamous relationship you are no longer bisexual you’re then either straight or a lesbian or gay if you’re a man well that’s not true right because you still have the potential to be attracted to both genders just as you’re not suddenly asexual if you’re in a relationship with someone the thing is as a bisexual you’re not part of the straight community but you’re also not fully fitting in with the lesbian community so there is the bisexual community but it’s being sort of like spread out somewhere like oh it’s not really a thing or like oh that’s the same thing as being a lesbian or like well you’re basically straight if you’re dating someone of the opposite sex but it’s not true we have our own unique narrative and experience I feel like a lot of times it’s being sort of played down and erased basically I mean Piper on orange is the new black I don’t know if they finally done any progress because I stopped watching that show but she’s bisexual you know and no one ever freakin said it I think it’s important to create awareness and have representation and this is also why I wanted to do this video you know I am bisexual and this is what a bisexual can look like and what kind of relationship they can be in it actually felt really good to get that off my chest and I’m sure there’s gonna be some negative reactions to this but you know as long as I get through to some of you and challenge some of these misconceptions that some people have had and hopefully make some bisexual people who have been you know having the same thoughts happy with this then that’s really all I want I would love it if you would share this video I do think it’s something very important and I’d love to have more discussions about this topic we can start right here in the common thread I mean please save some comments with what’s your experience been like with bisexuality and the LGBT community how do you feel about the term and what are the challenges that you’ve had if you guys are new here I’d love if you check out the other videos on this channel as well which feature my much prettier and adorable girlfriend Alexis I wish you all a beautiful Pride Month and it’s all about love and acceptance bye everyone choose

Author: Kennedi Daugherty

100 thoughts on “I Was Afraid to Come Out as Bisexual In The Lesbian Community

  1. I need help I have never gone out on a date before and right now I am trying to figure out my sexuality please help me I need to know tgis because I belive that it will help me out of my depression

  2. I totally understand. I'm in my early 30's, and brushed off my attraction to women as a phase. I had to be straight, right? I was still attracted to men. Since I didn't hate men, and didn't just magically "know" I was gay from a young age, I had to be straight. It is only in the last year or so I've been embracing my bisexuality, although I am a bit scared to date lesbians for all the reasons you listed. Thank you for being so brave, raw and honest. It means more than you know XO

  3. I have been with males but always was distraught that we couldn't just have had a friendship. I felt pushed to liking males. I think men can be physically beautiful but when it comes down to the nitty gritty I am not sexually attracted to males at all.

  4. One partner was thought of by her family that she was a lesbian. She may have been but I think she was more attracted to herself? Or the idea? But I really got the vibe that she thought of women during sex which is what some females do, but I personally didn't think she knew what SHE wanted. Another knew what she wanted and was using me to get there and she didn't want me. All of it was a bit confusing to me. I'm not upset that they figured out what they wanted. But at the time I kept feeling intense rejection disappointment and sadness, which turned into something I couldn't handle. On top of some other unstable emotions. I only feel aroused looking at women. Not just nerves, but desire. I don't like being dominated or dominating. All of the qualities I've ever wanted cannot be found in a man.

  5. Thanks for this video. As a more androgynous presenting woman this is something I also struggle with, and people always assume my sexuality. I can relate to the 70/30 thing. Everybody knows me as a lesbian so now I feel like I can’t re-come out but I’ve been correcting people more recently.

  6. In my experience not disclosing if you have a male partner or even other lovers in general can be detrimental to the person who desires just to be with you alone. It is not fair to them because if they knew you had other lovers or even a male partner we should be free to choose NOT to be with you. It is lying by omission. I wouldn't want to always be suspicious I've left one partner for that very reason. If you have to question their motives, perhaps you weren't meant for each other. Some people like the thrill of deception. But to take an unsuspecting partner who may not want to play along is particularly cruel. I think boundaries should always be part of the discussion. If you aren't comfortable with a certain boundary, then perhaps it's not a good fit. In example, if someone says a deal breaker for them is cheating, if you decide to cross that boundary is more than testing the theory, it expressly the opposite of the boundary, which maybe it's sabatoge of the relationship.

  7. I think it's good to feel comfortable enough to be yourself no matter what. Sometimes it takes a long time to figure it out, sometimes not. And I always pray that my partners figured out what they truly wanted, even if it wasn't me, because if it took me to be a step to their next one and they landed in the arms of bliss no matter how jealous (hurt) I am of it, I'm more glad they didn't stick around in a lie. I'm pretty happy in my relationship, but I am damaged by a lot of the past and it's going to take a whole lot of working through it to get to the other side

  8. seeing myself as a bi-non-sexual {yes, that exists too..} i agree with you there – what's the problem with identifying as bi? is it because seeing yourself as fully lesbian is somehow more worthy? you've gone through the struggle of coming out and are now 'on the other side' {as in not straight} and anyone blurring the boundaries or muddying the waters by adding a possibility of still being attracted to men is a traitor? you're either 100% this or that, not all these grey area's…

  9. I was really confused by this question for a long time. Sometimes a little sudden affection for boys makes me feel a sense of betrayal, but I do feel like I like girls a little more and I'm more addicted to they, I think the reason I feel this way is because I haven't met anyone I really like, I wish the one would show up early so that I could escape from this circle

  10. i don’t understand how this could possibly be misunderstood i mean why does someone even have to explain which gender their into? there should be no thing as coming out as gay, lesbian, bisexual.. it should be just normal to love a person no matter what their gender is or whom they loved bevor or whatever

  11. "Piper from OITNB is bisexual"
    Yes! Thank you! In some aspects I'm so mad that they never address that in the show but, in some ways, I'm happy that they don't. Piper is one of the worst representations of bisexuals I've ever seen. If she were to be named as bisexual, it would be a shining example of the negative image that bisexuals are always painted with: greedy, indecisive, fickle, confused individuals who with switch sexuality as it suits them. On the other hand, saying that she's just a confused lesbian or that she's lying to herself is an example of bi-erasure! It's a no win situation, honestly! Either way, I would love to have a show in the future depicting a healthy, monogamous bisexual who's not afraid to define their sexuality to the world!
    Thank you for making this and Happy Pride Month!

  12. THIS. VIDEO. WAS. NEEDED.πŸ‘πŸ»βœ¨Thank you for saying something!πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’–πŸ’œπŸ’™

  13. I’m curiousβ€” I always thought I was bi but my attraction to guys was fleeting. Then I started dating women and the 3rd one in, I married. I still find guys cute, but I have zero interest in ever having a relationship with a guy again. If my wife broke my heart, I’d only want a relationship with a woman. I could imagine possibly dating a guy with only kissing and snuggling but no sex, and I find guys cute more so than hotβ€” more like if I see a really cute puppy. And I can’t seem to fully empathize with a man. Women, I do, and my interest is not fleeting. I know people hate labels, but I find them interesting and wonder if you’d consider me bi or lesbian? Like if you have to say one or the other. Actually, never mind. I think I just figured out I’m a lesbian when I reread what I just wrote!

  14. I feel the same way. My split is about the same as yours, i say I’m gay because no label really fits me.

  15. Thank you for talking about this. As a bisexual woman, I often struggle with the same things you mentioned. I'm still learning to fully accept my sexuality, but making progress everyday. πŸ’™

  16. It's sad that bisexual women are struggling to be accepted by both heterosexual people and the gay community.

  17. I've never related to anything more. When I came out to my mom as bisexual, she told me it would be easier for her to understand if I was fully lesbian. I remember her asking me if I have the ability to date a man, why did I choose to have a girlfriend instead.

  18. I feel you…
    I heard so many times form lesbians that bi women are sluts and they cheat and every time i was talking to a lesbian online and i told her im bi she was like ewww bi people cant decide
    This is called biphobia and what's the saddest about it it occurs amongst lgbtq+ community and that should be free from any discrimination

  19. Happy Pride Month!! I’m so glad I’ve came across this video. You have cleared up some questions I’ve been asking myself a lot lately. Thank you for this video! SN: I’m a new Subie! ❀️😁

  20. Thank you so much for coming out and making this video!! Bisexual voices and visibility are crucial to queer liberation!

  21. Hi! Thank you for sharing that, yesterday I came out to my Granma and told her I like a girl. She was cool but she freak out at first. I still strougle to make people understand that Im still atracted to man…actually im not sure if my Granma understood that. So I definetly understand what you are saying about being bisexual. I never really understood the gender differences for example through fashion, or cultural rules being different for man and woman. And this sexual orientation or atraction is the same…Im really atracted to the person, and bisexuality is that. So..Im happy to hear your thoughts on that because I definatly identify with it. Xoxo

  22. thank you for sharing this. I recognize the confusion and struggle it can give. And as you say it, people are people, love is love and a bisexual is simply being attracted to a human being.

  23. Sexuality is fluid and I:m not sure that someone is 100% straight or gay. In most cases it's a high percentage of attraction to the same or opposite sex. I don't really lable myself because I believe that if a human can find another human that makes it happy, then gender or lables aren't an issue. If I had to, I would say that I'm pansexual, but there are many possibilities. I also struggled because I'm married to a woman and therefore people might say that I'm straight or max. an ally and not a member of the LGBT community, but I'm definitely not straight and therefore at least queer.

  24. Thank you so much for making this video! As a bi woman in a monogamous marriage with a straight man, I also fall into the spectrum of bi erasure. In fact, I didn't even know I was bi until I was already married (I have internalized homophobia/religious indoctrination to thank for that one). I love my husband and am attracted to him, but I am also attracted to other people, usually women. My attraction to women does not make me feel any less attracted to my very male husband.

  25. Dear Lilian,
    First many greatings from Germany! I (31) am bisexual, too, and I always felt like I have to decide wether if Iβ€˜m gay or straight. In the lesbian community I mostly never said that Iβ€˜m bi, except I went into a deeper realationship. Today I donβ€˜t have to explain myself anymore, cause I met my husband 10 years ago. I told him very early I had also girlfriends in the past and he was absolutely cool with that. For the straight society I am β€žnormalβ€œ now. I am still bi, but this is not taken seriously, because I am married to a man.
    Now it turned out that his youngest sister (18) is lesbian and I spoke to her a lot, also about my experiences. She said itβ€˜s not like that anymore, people today accept homo- and bisexuality as well. She is sure, that the lgbt community – in Germany at least – is more open-minded to other queer People between gay and straight. Well, I was glad to hear that. Also about she has a bisexual girlfriend. No predjudices, just love and acceptance.
    We canβ€˜t decide which sexuality we are. And thereβ€˜s nothing wrong about loving a person. I donβ€˜t have to decide for men or women. Well, I would feel more comfortable in this modern world.

  26. I really appreciate this video being pansexual myself I suffer with many of the same stigmas. Thank-you for bringing more awareness to this topic πŸŒˆπŸ’•

  27. I came out to my family after my relationship with my girlfriend began and ever since have often been assumed to be a Lesbian. I definitely relate to your hesitation in discussing it openly in the lesbian community! Thanks for speaking out!

  28. what a great video!! your example of piper from orange is the new black reminded me of callie from grey's anatomy BUT this they actually handled bisexuality well and talked about it

  29. Don't be afraid, you are a wonderful and beautiful person it doesn't matter which gender you love🌈🌈🌈🌈

  30. You explained everything very well and I support you. What I don't understand and would like anyone to explain to me is people who figure out their sexuality while being in a committed relationship. For example, if a girl was never attracted to guys before and she's been in a committed relationship for a while durinG which she comes out as bi or something else, how does that happen? Shouldn't you only be attracted to your long term partner? Thanks if anyone replies πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’•

  31. YouTube, downloaded specifically, to support both of you. happy Pride Month , I like you both so much. You are both beautiful. In Chinese, I am β€œYan Dog”.hahahaha

  32. Well said. As a bi sexual woman I get the "bi sexual people are just greedy" line a lot. Sadly I've had people I love say some pretty nasty things to me about being who I am. This video helped me feel less alone thank you for sharing!

  33. Live and let live ,life's too short to worry , ,,,,,, coming from a straight married old lady ! I personally have no issues

  34. nice to see a young person discuss this. I didn't come out bi til I was in my late 40's , mostly due to area and religion I was raised in

  35. Thanks, I’m in my 60s & I’ve always secretly loved the open-heartedness of bisexuality and I needed to hear your pride to reclaim mine..

  36. bisexual for me is just another sexual orientation. homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual, etc. they are just different, we just have to respect ourselves and accept our differences 😘

  37. You perfectly explained bisexuality with the words I could never find.
    Im going to show this to my mom so she can understand it better too!

  38. πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ
    πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ
    πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™

  39. Thank you for the video
    It helps me a lot
    I just came out as bi
    My friends accept me
    But my mom said lots of bad things
    For example i am chaotic
    And lots more

    Love your channel
    Have a good day πŸ™‚
    And greetings from germany

  40. Hi it was great to watch this .. regarding the bisexual topic, i think it is even a bigger struggle for girls who are more into men and lesser percentage into girls.. i know a friend of mine who is definitely bisexual but with a man (in a commited relationship) since many years and no one really believes her as they think it was just an experimental phase for her earlier when she was with a woman
    however she has now stopped telling people that she is bisexual, i wonder if it was really important to point out her bisexuality in the first place ? in all honesty why would you try so hard to identify yourself as a bisexual if it wasnt to attract attention of the people
    because i believe it is something personal and she doesnt need to fight out so loud with silly people who wouldnt even believe it .. so may as well let people think she is straight
    I know what i am saying here is not exactly "correct" but i do think that until you are in that dating phase when you are looking both at men and women you can identify yourself as a bisexual but once you are in a commited relationship with a partner (man or woman), you are automatically a lesbian or a straight ..
    because it doesnt really matter if you still like women or men because you choose to spend the rest of your life with this person and rest of the people just become PEOPLE (sans gender)

  41. I’m on the opposite side of things. I am a bisexual woman married to a man. This is a man I have been with for 10 years now.

    People assume that I am straight…

    I have only been open about my β€œstraight” relationships. Feeling ashamed about my relationships with woman. Hiding it.

    So here I am almost 30 and still in the closet and I don’t want to be anymore…. I’m so afraid

  42. Thank you for this. I am bi as well and this video brought me clarity. I was also able to identify with the 70/30 ratio of attraction

  43. I’m bisexual 90% favoring women and I don’t feel a part of the lgbt community at all nor really want to be at this point. I’m part of communities that have to deal with my likes and interests other than just who I like to sleep with.

  44. im sorry but you do not need to be scared to come out as bi. being gay is way more scarier and i dont think you have to worry.

  45. Your video is an inspiration to me. I'm a Bisexual female. I have been Bisexual for nearly 7 years but didn't come out til last year. I guess the feeling of being ashamed over took me. I'm learning now that it's very much ok. I have nothing to be ashamed about. I came out with my family about my sexuality and they haven't spoken to me in a year. That's ok with me cause I can't ignore my heart. With me I have about a 30% attraction to men and a 70% attraction to women. I prefer women over men. Thank you for this video 😊

  46. I personally am going through this right now, and i wanna take this moment to appreciate your words bc they really connected with me. This is such an important time of my life. Im 17 and im falling in love with this girl. I’ve dated a guy but i’ve always known i have a preference for women. Ive just always been scared of the feeling and never admitted it to myself bc i have a very religious family and i cant bear letting them down, especially being bisexual. This is my first time watching your guys’s channel and it sure wont be my last, please do more videos like this. Id love some help discovering myself and others i can definitely connect with on this level (:

  47. You are my bi-icon! Thank you very much for that brave video. In the lesbian community I always felt like a "bad lesbian". Unfortunately I never was brave enough to speak out all those cliches.

  48. I just came out to my mom…. I told her that I dont know if I'm bi or les I'm most likely bi I told her that this isn't a phase a few of my friends know and she told me she loves me the same but she didnt like it completely idk what that means she said that she supports me 100% that's very good but she said she would have to talk to my dad and I said that i will idk when bc that isn't ur place its mine… I feel like I should have waited till we got home from my grandparents house bc now I'm scared to be around her… ik she loves me but I just dont know…

  49. This helped bc I am bi and haven’t come out except for telling my mother. I don’t think i will come out but I know I can say it on here bc there are ppl in the comments going through the same thing.

  50. ζ„Ÿθ°’οΌε±…η„Άζœ‰δΈ­ζ–‡ε­—εΉ•οΌŒηˆ±δΊ†(⑉°з°)-β™‘

  51. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/11977121/Women-are-either-bisexual-or-gay-but-never-straight.html

    So you are a normal woman?

  52. Years ago (77) I wrote my womens studies thesis on women and sexual identity. One of my conclusions is that very few women are either completely homosexual or completely heterosexual. Most women were in the 70/30, 50/50, 30/70 range. The issue of self defining as a Lesbian was therefore both a political and/or a lifestyle choice.. in what was then an overwhelmingly heterosexist world throughout the 'western' cultures.

    The development of the LGBTQI+ concept definitely brings its own challenges. Even I have not come to grips with all the changing connutations, though healthy debates about it all is progress indeed. What matters most for both then and now is to feel confident in one's own definition of self and supported by one's chosen community (and hopefully family). Feel free and proud, Lillian, in who and what you are.

  53. πŸ‡§πŸ‡· kisses from Brazil πŸ’™ This video made me feel confident, happy and comfortable with what I feel and think πŸ₯°β€οΈ Thank you both so much for all the amazing videos you girls have been creating for this YouTube channel. YT suggested me one of your videos when I searched for queer content in order to feel more confident about my sexuality and I completely loved your channel! You’re both amazing women and I just want to say THANK YOU ❀️ I’m now feeling that priceless bisexual pride I was looking for πŸ₯°

  54. I totally agree with what you said about bi.I'm also a bier but that doesn't means my lover is exist like anywhere.. I don't know why the people just treat us in a different way.And even separate us from the queer community. I was fall in love with a straight girl but she just pushing me away when she knows about it. Kind of awkward like…If I'm a pure lesbian then things might not goes in that way.

  55. Amen sister! Right there with u… I just read a study saying that half the LGBT community is made up of Bisexuals! Makes sense to me, it's a spectrum n most ppl aren't on an extreme end but somewhere in the middle. Keep up the good work!

  56. I've heard about this hostility from lesbians towards Bisexual or Pansexual females within the LGBTQIA community. I'm not sure when this started, but it's been a real issue for years. I always wonder what percentage of Lesbians actually "hate men" ? Have you been in a relationship with a Bisexual or Pansexual individual ? I feel Bisexual/Pansexual females are accepted by straight communities more than male Bisexual/Pansexual individuals. If you don't believe me. Ask yourself. How many openly Bisexual/Pansexual guys do you know in your life or in the celebrity world ? I'm a Pansexual cis male, I'm only out to a select group of friends.

  57. well done you for speaking your truth! i think it can help a lot of people. for a very long time i suffered because i knew bisexuality was out there, but i didn't think it applied to me.

  58. I’m dealing with this myself but reading a new book called β€˜put the B in Bi’ tells how we don’t need to prove ourselves to others. For years I thought I was straight because I’ve never had sex with other genders and I’m not attracted to all women. Lol sounds funny but it’s what I thought. That bi women throw ourselves on everyone. I have happily discovered that people who like me and I share their attraction, we connect and they don’t judge me or say I don’t look bi. They just like me and we share in the beautiful feelings. It’s a new discovery for me and seems magical that love exists in many ordinary places. I’m very happy to be bi and non-binary and poly. After growing up in a hostile environment this feels like flying

  59. Thank you so much Lilian!! I'm so scared of being rejected by the lesbian woman I have a huge crush on, if I tell her I'm bisexual. You seem to have found a great, open-minded lesbian partner in Alexis. Two lesbian friends told me they had bad experiences with bisexual women, and now they only want to date lesbians. But when they explained the issues they encountered, the reality is that these supposedly bisexual women were just biCURIOUS, just exploring, not committed, mostly into men, etc… So I completely agree with you, Lilian, when you say a bisexual can absolutely have a real, meaningful and committed relationship with a lesbian.

  60. How much do I love this? SO MUCH!!! I’m having a hard time and everything you said is exactly how I feel. I’ve also been hurt by women who were into me but would tell me they don’t actually like girls so I just stayed dating men and having sex when I had to think ofgirls to get off. I’m finally coming to terms that I love women. But there’s a small percentage of me that still like men. I’m not confused. I’m not just gonna want a girl then eventually end with a man. And also I have a very small toddler. It’s hard being accepted as a gay woman with a child from a pst relationship.

  61. I'm 17 and I've always thought to be straight, but it's been about a year that I like a girl, and I could even say I'm in love with her. It took a lot of time to define my feelings and I still don't know if it's just a crush or I could fancy other girls, 'cause I also like boys. Anyway, I think it's normal to be confused at the beginnig, but I'd like to ask you "when and how did you understand you were bisexual?"

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