Growing Up in a Pornified Culture | Gail Dines | TEDxNavesink

Growing Up in a Pornified Culture | Gail Dines | TEDxNavesink

Translator: Ilze Garda
Reviewer: Denise RQ Thank you. Today what I’m going to talk about is: what does it mean to grow up
in a pornified culture? What does it mean to live in a society where you are surrounded by images
of hypersexualized, pornified women. What does it mean
when you live in a society where basically pop culture is shaped
by those pornographic images? What I’m going to talk about is how those images shape
gender and sexual identity because today young people grow up
not in a print-based culture – like those of us over the age of 35,
and I’m being nice here – but they grow up
in an image-based culture, so let’s wander
through the world they live in. When I lecture to people,
often therapists or parents, they don’t really know
the world their kids live in. But you know what? The media does. Here is a magazine called Details
which is like Cosmopolitan for men. They had an article called
“How Internet porn is changing teen sex?” They interviewed a pornographer
called Joanna Angel, and she said, “The girls these days
just seem to come to the set porn-ready.” What does that mean? What I’m going to say is that this culture
is socializing our young girls to be ready for pornography whether they ever end up
on a porn site or not. The reason for that is
that they are being taught to hypersexualize and pornify themselves. So let’s wander through the images
that these young women and men live in. Let’s just think about the images
that bombard them, the kind of pornified,
hypersexualized images. And really, when you think
of all the thousands of images, they all come down to a young,
white, blonde, tall female. God forbid, by the way, anything jiggles,
apart from the breasts, of course. But other than that, your whole skin
has to be bolted down. Now, we do let some women of color in, if they look like Beyoncé, or Nicki Minaj, or, of course, Rihanna. But on the whole, the main image
is a white, hypersexualized female. In media theory, we have a concept
called “the reader inscribed in the text”. So look at this woman. Look at her clothes, look at her face,
look at her posture, and look at her gaze, G-A-Z-E. Who is she speaking to? Because the notion is that every image
has a reader in mind. Before you answer, do you think
she’s speaking to her mother, saying, “Let’s go for a cup of coffee
after the photo shoot?” (Laughter) So who is she talking to? Who is she speaking to? Men. And what is she saying? “Fuck me.” Would you all agree? (Laughter) So this is what I call the “fuck me” look, and there is not a woman in this room who couldn’t right now go
into the “fuck me” look, am I right? (Laughter) Does this look right? With your vulnerable neck,
looking with your eyes like this. I want you to think what it means
to be male and grow up in a culture where before you can even speak,
females are offering themselves to you, “Come get me! Come get me!” What happens to young girls, is when they are developing
their sexual identity, what they learn is
they have two choices: either fuckability or invisibility. And what do you want from a teenager
when built in to the DNA of adolescence is the need to be visible? What do you want from her
when her friends are walking around with low-slung jeans, a tramp stamp,
with their midriff showing? What do you want her to do? Because it is impossible
to ask her to go for invisibility. So this is not a choice, this is
being forced into a trap of sexuality that she didn’t invent,
that she didn’t decide because there are so few choices. So what does this mean to be a young girl? When I was struggling with thinking
what has happened in this culture, you know who really told me what it was? It wasn’t someone with a PhD
in sociology or psychology, it was actually an incarcerated
child rapist I like to call Dick. Dick was imprisoned for raping
his 12-year-old stepdaughter, and he was explaining to me
how he groomed her. Grooming is what you do when the perpetrator
homes in on his victim, starts to develop a relationship
with her and then tells her what really matters is how hot she is,
that she’s really sexy, she’s hot. By the time you actually make your move, she’s bonded to you, and she thinks
the most important thing about herself is that she’s hot. Dick was explaining to me
how he groomed his stepdaughter, and then he looked me
straight in the eye and he said, “The culture did a lot
of the grooming for me.” And I have to tell you
I nearly fell off my chair. Because he was exactly right. The culture is mass-perpetrating
against our girls. It used to be that you needed
an individual perpetrator to perpetrate against an individual girl. Not anymore. Now, pop culture part 2
for the boys is the porn industry. When I talk about porn, I don’t mean
Playboy, Penthouse, or Hustler. Let’s go back to Details. Basically, they said in this article, “There is an entire generation
of young people who think sex ends with the money shot to the face.” For the uninitiated out there, a money shot is ejaculation on the face. To tell you what goes on in the world – because I teach young people, I lecture
across the country in colleges all over – a student told me that she was talking
to a boyfriend who wanted to actually date – which in the hook-up sites culture,
believe me, is a big thing – and he said to her he had a deal breaker, and the deal breaker was
that she had to let him come on her face. She said, “No, I’m not
letting you do that.” And I was telling a reporter
in England, who was in her 40s, she was doing a documentary,
and she said to me, “I don’t believe you.
You’re exaggerating.” And a 23-year-old assistant
turned to her and said, “Do you know how many men
have come on my face without asking?” So get rid of the notion of Playboy,
Penthouse, or even Hustler; those were the good old
days of pornography. I never thought I would stand here
and tell you, look back and say, “These seemed evil quaint.” What changed everything was the Internet. The Internet made pornography affordable, it made it accessible,
and it made it anonymous. The three A’s that drive demand. Do you know that porn sites
get more visitors each month than Netflix, Amazon,
and Twitter combined? Just get your head around that and that we know from studies that nearly 90% of the top-watched
rented scenes have at least [one] physical or verbal
abuse against the woman. What I’m going to do now
is I am going to follow the breadcrumbs of a 12-year-old. The first age of using pornography is 12. And I’m just going to follow him with no credit card,
put “porn” into Google, and I’m going to tell you
what he is going to see. The first thing he is going to see,
the major act on virtually all websites is gagging. This is where the man puts
the penis so far down her throat that she gags almost
to the point of vomiting. They put a lot of mascara on her face,
so that she’s actually tearing and you can see the rivulets
of mascara running down. As she is choking, he grabs her head, and he pulls it towards him,
and he says, “Look at me!” And she is choking! This is a kind of a sexual psychopath. When you think that porn is
the major form of sex-ed, think what is going to happen
to the next generation of boys, most of whom are brought up
on hardcore, mainstream Internet porn. The average 12-year-old, when he goes onto porn,
when he puts “porn” into Google, what do you think
he thinks he’s going to see? Breasts? People having sex?
Do you think he’s thinking of gagging? Of course, he’s not. So what keeps him on that? I started to read the text that went
with the images, so let’s look at his. “Do you know what we say to things
like romance and foreplay? We say, “Fuck off!” We take gorgeous young bitches, and do what every man
would really like to do – we make them gag,” etc., etc. This is from a very well-known website
called Gag Me Then Fuck Me. Now, think about this: he is 12 years old, he is going
into manhood, he is aroused, that is telling him, “You wanna be a male? This is your entrée into masculinity. This is the price you pay
to be masculine.” In that boy’s stomach is a toxic stew because he’s aroused,
but he is also ashamed, and he is also scared,
and he is also angry, and he feels enormous shame
that he is aroused, and nobody has said to him,
“This is not who you are.” Because the pornographers say to him, “This is who you are.
This is what you want. Because we take
gorgeous young bitches, and we do what every man
would really like to do.” But you know what?
That’s not true. I know that’s not true, and I know that is true
because feminists are man’s best friends, because we believe more in men
than the pornographers do. And you know how I know that the pornographers
don’t tell the truth about men? I know that as a feminist,
I know that as a scholar, and above all, I know that
as a mother of a son. My son is worth better than this. If my son is, then I believe
your son is too. The next really constant scene
you’re going to see is really violent, pounding anal sex. Let me read you the kind
of promotional copy from the movie “Anally ripped whores”. “We at Pure Filth know
exactly what you want: chicks being ass fucked till their sphincters are pink,
puffy, and totally blown out. Adult diapers just might be in store
for these whores when their work is done.” This is the promotional copy. You don’t need a PhD in media studies
to understand the violence, and I want to make this clear:
this is mainstream porn, this is what the 12-year-old boy
gets to within 15 seconds, this is not the worst,
I don’t go near the worst. The standard porn scene,
the standard porn film: one woman, three men,
oral, anal, vaginal penetration. They’re pulling her hair,
they’re spitting in her face, they’re calling her a whore,
a slut, and a cum dumpster. This is the sex education today
across the world. We know from 40 years of research
that the younger the boys get to porn, the more it limits
their capacity for intimacy, the more it decreases
their empathy for rape victims, the more it increases
depression and anxiety, and the more likely they are
to engage in risky sexual behavior. The future. Now we have a whole generation
of boys desensitized because really what you want at 10 is
different to what you want at 15, 20, 30. So where is this going? In 2002, the Free Speech Coalition which is
the lobbying arm of the porn industry lobbied the Ashcroft Court
to take away the argument that you couldn’t use girls
who looked under 18, and this is what we’ve got overnight: teen porn, first time with daddy, daddy’s whore, it’s OK, she’s my stepdaughter. What are we going to do? How are we going to tie this
porn monster down step by step? We’re going to use the Gulliver strategy. Education by education by education. We’re going to use
a public health approach. Just as we stopped drinking-and-driving, you bring to the table all those who have a vested interest
in the well being of the next generation. At my group Culture Reframed,
we are taking the public health model, and we’re going to build
parents’ programs, we’re going to build
programs for professionals, we’re going to build programs for students because we’re going to tie
this porn monster down piece by piece. And you know why? Because our children are worth more,
our culture is worth more, our boys are worth more,
and our girls are worth more. Thank you very much. (Applause)

Author: Kennedi Daugherty

100 thoughts on “Growing Up in a Pornified Culture | Gail Dines | TEDxNavesink

  1. This lady sooo full of it.

    "Spitting in her face"?!? Man, i've watched my fair share of porn, but I have NEVER seen a man SPIT in the face of a woman in porn. I'm sure it exists somewhere, possibly in some sinister part of the "female choice" section, but don't lie and say that it's "mainstream".

    This is moral panic galore. Made up statistics and "evidence" in the form of stories from cherry picked people we cannot verify if they even exist.

  2. Porn kinda perverts your natural sexual desires. Before I started watching porn, I had no interest in rough sex – slapping and spitting and all that stuff. But first it shocks you, then it gets stuck in your head, you get excited by it, and then you start needing the harder stuff to get off. It's not that different to certain kinds of drug.

  3. Relentlessly happy I never had children. Disturbing stuff. I'd not want to have a child in the Internet world we live in

  4. Sexualizing women = badSexualizing men = good Basically the jest of it it seems. Don't hear her complaining about Magic Mike XXL. But she would have complained about a hypothetical Magic Michelle DD. Tons of sexualized images of men are everywhere. I don't mind these things at all, but I dont like hypocrits. We should be sexualizing everyone free of ridicule.

  5. Do you take legal action? Do you take action against government that is letting these things happen in the first place? Please do some upstream actions, talk shows could only depict the plight of victims!

  6. Good until she mentioned feminism. Feminism has become tarnished beyond redemption by identity warriors. If you want to create wider support for her cause, she should leave out any mention of feminism.

  7. To destroy the p.industry we have to follow certain steps;
    1 – she mentioned is bringing awareness to the public about the negative effects of it.
    2 – identifying other industries and organisations related to its survival.
    3 – find out where their income, funding and backing is coming from.
    4 – put politicians in power against this.
    5 – send spies into the companies producing it, and force bankruptcy inside out.
    6 – confiscate their wealth and solve world hunger.

  8. The problem is that most of the male therapists, teachers, male involved in education are already watching these things…

  9. I think the assessment is correct and the implications are froghtful. I hope the education solution is effective, but, I doubt it is.

  10. Hopefully her son learns to delete his search history and lock his door because idk what she'd do if she caught him

  11. this is amazing and there needs to be millions more like this! a lot of people are too embarrassed about what you spoke of but the world, especially america needs to hear and see this, if an actual change is going to be made

  12. Ok am not disagreeing with her or anything but I don't think anyone reads that stuff anyway..😄 pretty sure they aren't in the site to read anything other than a play button 😂

  13. As we say here; "و شهد شاهد من أهلها" ("And one of their own bore witness; And a witness of their own testified").
    I am glad that there are people like you in the West who are willing to stand against the mainstream media in addressing such sensitive issues!
    Wish you the best of luck!

  14. She told it like it is, I hope the influencers listen and begin to change this abusive culture that has set in!

  15. As a teenager who’s about to enter high school, she got this spot on. Me and my friends have all sexualized ourselves even though we’re only 14-15 year olds. It’s sad but it’s the truth

  16. Guys we need to educate our parents before we can expose them to reality -the worldwideweb – in order to protect them from getting sustainable mental damage. Everything else seems irresponsible

  17. Interesting opinions, however she didn't really establish a framework where the negative aspects are specified. She just described phenomena.

  18. as a mother of two pre school aged sons. This is burned in my brain and we absolutely owe it to our children to do better. It is absolutely sickening, but they are worth so much more and only we as parents can make the necessary changes.

  19. Gees, this is so obvious and predictable. I knew this would happen to this generation and was always totally amazed at the complete apathy from all leaders in our society. How hard would it have been to set up a "safe net" for kids? Would have been entirely possible. to late now. I hate our culture. We are all depraved because we refuse to hold each other to any kind of sane standard. It is vile.

  20. this speech is so open and staggering , this is good cause that way we understand better. this subject is real and so scary . we need to do something.

  21. Gail Dines is amazing. I am so grateful for all the work she's done. I feel really inspired to do something. Not sure what yet, but I will.

  22. There is a scene in the movie The Matrix where the main character, Neo, is distracted by a highly sexualied woman in a bright red dress. That entire scene has a hidden lesson that EVERYONE should needs to see.

  23. The hookup culture is the worst thing to happen to today's youth. People are degraded to digital images you can swipe away. Boys don't need to grow a spine and ask girls out, they don't have to risk being turned down. They just have to interact on a screen. I seriously hope we'll have a 180 turn and return back to early 2000's when things were still normal.

  24. She delivers a very good talk, on spot!
    But many of us only talk here in the comment section, anonymously on the internet, but not in real life. This already is part of the problem I guess.
    Any germans here btw?

  25. Si las putas volaran no veriamos el sol jejejeje Menos tu madre y la mía son todas unas putas…………………..Y NO LE PREGUNTES A MI PADRE!!!!!!!! jejejejejejejejejejeeje

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