Every year we starved, but while there was fishing, we could endure it. When the Zolotaevs first informed on us about fishing…it was over. Moreover, we were noticed by Moscow tourists. And it seems that in the time of Khrushchev it was not that simple. He did to Christians… It was scary, Yerofey often remembered the time. All the latest were exterminated. And we were strongly in pursuit. When three of us were caught: daddy, mum, and Savin was also with them, but mother hid him. Maybe if they could have seen all of us, but it turned to be an obstacle for them. The three of us left the North for the river. That was the summer Dmitry twisted his leg… That was the most famine year. There were no potatoes left for the summer. We collected the whole hundred and divided between all. We needed to keep it for winter, and also to make seeds from this. There was some food left from the scraps. We starved. Fishing was not lucky enough because of the high water. Little by little, we managed to stock up some fish for the winter. We hardly got through the summer. We were eating only berries and Roman leaf during the whole summer. At the river we could, at least, extract Maryin root (Paeonia anomala). Dmitry hurt his leg and could do nothing. We wanted more … There was a big road of marals(siberian deer), we wanted to make a hole (for hunting). But everything was over. We starved then. The fishing was over, because of the lack of fish. And there was no alternative. My mother could keep alive for one more year. There was a bit more food. A Musk deer was caught in a trap. And the other year we starved again. And mother began to get sick. What was the food like then? We went to collect onions. That was all what we ate. When we still were on the North, we caught Grey wrasse in a trap. And «mokritsa»(Stellaria media). They collected the seeds…Mom was still eating them. And then she stopped… The Nativity Fast is long, it lasts six weeks. The fast ended, she was still on her feet by Christmas. Christmas came and there was nothing. The were no food. We took potatoes from the North, but it had frozen in the river. It froze on June 6, approximately. It was small and frozen as well. There was just a little of kept potatoes. In the North popatoes were preserved in the original state. It was thanks to the early planting. We took her potatoes. But it didn’t work, everything was lean. There was also juice, made of nuts and nothing more. She couln’t walk from the day of the Epiphany. We were carrying her on hands. The house where we were spending nights was breaking. Ah Savin was ill with bleeding. What kind of disease was it? It happened that the bleeding couldn’t stop for a whole day.
Natalia washed his bloodstained pants every day in the icy water. When she came back frome the river she always got the shivers. And Dmitry coughed, he was very ill. Savin had been ill with bleeding for more than a year. Gury said that it was cancer of the rectum. And how did this disease happen? Either he was excessively overloaded or something else. And Dmitry… Perhaps, this disease – flu and cough – came from the neighboring settlements. He coughed so hard, and pneumonia quickly occurred. And we did not know this disease, it was very difficult to cure it. And when I got sick, I took fir immediately. I took it 4 times a day: in the morning, at noon, on the evening and also at night. Only this helped. When it was his last days, my daddy alone in the evening… I didn’t know whether he would awake in the morning – or he would talk nonsense I wondered what should have I done. Whether to go to Kilinsk, to relatives or to stay here. And he said that he didn’t want me to go to civilization. He wanted me to go to the North or to stay here. I swore an oath. Well, then he already said that it would be good to have some kind helper to live here and help. There was the holy water from those priests which were tortured by the niconians in Yalutorovsk. They kept that water, even diluted it then. But then they poured this water into the river, or what else did they do…Anisim still had this water, they didn’t even diluted and poured it into the river as well, they fully abandoned it. And daddy said that they were no longer our brotherhood as they did so to the holy water. Anisim arrived and told that they had poured. Then daddy told thet they didn’t relate to us. When we lived in the North, daddy didn’t let me visit our relatives. Then I had to move here, as I didn’t understand how to live that way. I had no idea about my future or my state of health, everything could happen… I stayed in order for a year, but the next year I was ill. We were just two of us, the fishing ceased. Everything stopped. So we fasted. I immediately got sick. Every year was different: sometimes well, sometimes very bad. And I was alright, but daddy… Either he got sick or even worse. I was afraid to be left alone. Yerofey left for Cairo, for Cairo, for Cairo. But I couldn’t go there. I wouldn’t handle there alone. Here I was the only one blocking the river. Well, my father said then that the relatives wouldn’t let me live tranquilly from that moment. And so it happened. His words came true. They didn’t let me live even for a year. Ah, what they did to me… They tried to grab my hut with a helicopter to move it away. That’s what happened, what daddy said, that was exactly it. All from their village didn’t let me live in peace I was in Abakan… and did not even know where Oleg Nikolaevich Tsarkov was. I thought that they lived there… He came from Tuva by plane. Then two days later, however, I had to live there. There was no clean air, I couldn’t even breathe normally, only gas smoke. There was only smoke and terrible noise of the cars… I need someone, a helper. It is necessary to keep cattle, impossible to live without it. Livestock gives milk as well as meat. It is necessary to mow hay, to prepare barns. There’s no time to pray when you’re at it. I didn’t sleep at night as I prayed. That’s why I lost my health so quickly. I almost went blind. It was so different when there were two of us. On holidays we prayed together. As usual, each of us had the Psalter. In everyday life we read the Psalms daily. 12 Psalms. We prayed the whole week. Usually we read 12 Psalms and canons. We read rememberance of the departed so often. I was left alone once, without daddy. I woke up at 6, I had to read the Psalms and cut potatoes at the same time. Well, there was still a prayer. Probably five… or six hours of praying. There are also special rules… the Psalms, then the canons for suffering souls. And there was the spring planting at the same time. I had to dig, to plant. In the fisrt spring I planted 40 buckets and dug up 340 buckets. How the tumor came up… Health goes with the years more and more… Probably because of an overload of work… It was my duty to chop root, scrape and cut. It was all on me to scrape and cut. And the right hand… I had to spin and spin all winter, and then, to dig and chop again. I had to cut down all the grass. I think that it’s easier to cut down the forest than to shred this grass. Then I had to left Cairo and get back home in one day. Just one person helped me to transport all the bags with things.
…My hand immediately hurt after that… And then I… didn’t need it… the therapeutic ointment “Finalgon”. But it cannot be applied for such disease. And then everything started stinging. Then a bump appeared and it had begun to grow… It can be seen, the bump turned out and now it began to grow and grow… Well, and then it came off when I began to cut down this hut, and with Nadia we began cutting firewood. We cut one big larch per day manually. Well, my bump somehow came off. And then it began to grow… Boris Leontievich wanted to examine what was growing in me, was it fibroma or something else. Anisim arrived and took me to Kilinsk. And I was not examined. It took place in Abakan. He had no time to examine. And then they couldn’t do anything. I was in Tashtagol, and they could not do anything, where there was a check. And Fedora tried to say something about it after the analysis of the scans, but all in vane. They couldn’t tell anything, failed to find out. The doctor said that I should live as much as I possible with it.